OK, so I talked earlier about what fixation feels like and how it’s the biggest warning sign that you’re trying to have a relationship with a bad match (that is, a match that isn’t going to work out in the long term and will drain your life, heart, and soul until there’s nothing left…).
People who have good relationships observe how they themselves feel in a relationship with another person (whether it’s a lover, a friend or a co-worker).
They observe if their connection to the other person feels like love (good) or obsession (bad).
There is this idea that we have one soul mate and that real love stories are supposed to be filled with obstacles and drama.
While this makes for good entertainment, it isn’t real life.
I don’t care if you have a million songs on your i Pod.
If you’re not listening to the music, you’re not experiencing music.
When you’re fixated on someone, it feels more like you’re suffocating. like you must have them treat you a certain way, give you a certain relationship title, or somehow prove their commitment to you.
You feel like until you have this, you are not OK and will not be OK.
Yes, I realize I’m speaking in metaphors, so let me tie this up: I don’t care if you of them is not your relationship – it is simply a thought in your head, completely irrelevant to the on-going music of your relationship.
So if the “music” of your relationship is a bitter, hateful ballad of pain and inner suffering… MORE: 5 Signs He’s Not the One When you fixate on a relationship, you are choking the joy out of your own experience and that negative vibe transmits into your relationship and very quickly poisons it, fatally.
QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Sabotaging Your Love Life?