” God arose from his bed and grabbed his notebook from the bedside table. Most of the items on the list were trivial pet projects God had intended on crossing off before wrapping up this whole mankind, Earth thing. ” Satan walked into God’s kitchen and grabbed an apple from a heaping pile on the counter, only to toss it back.
We were all counting on you to tie things up in a pretty little bow.” He had planned on it. They’ll build those eventually and they’ll feel great about themselves when they do … “My pleasure.” "But in case anyone asks, can you just bring me up to speed about what get done today?
Hell, it was probably something he should have taken care of earlier in the week. ” The anger turned to fear when he made the realization. How could he be so stupid to leave that one for the last day? “Well, I made sure that all wars and killing are done in your honor. “I am not familiar with that word.” Satan shrugged and turned the page of his notebook and then added nonchalantly: "Oh, I made AIDS.” God didn’t know what that was but didn’t want to seem like an idiot. "Okay, that’s not so bad, I guess,” God said, checking his notebook. “Without airplanes, the races won’t interact for thousands and thousands of years. I made sure all humans can feel shame and embarrassment, all the time. This year is special for the Church of Satan, and not because Mephistopheles will finally lead his army of demons out of hellfire to launch Armageddon.No, it’s the 50th anniversary of being the only religion that encourages naked lady breasts. “It’s me, Satan.” Without even asking, Satan opened the door and strutted right in like he owned the goddamned place.
Dirty snow wasn’t the end of the world, God thought. ” “I put the whites in a few, blacks in the big hot one, and then I had a bunch that I couldn’t tell apart so I put them all in Asia.” “WHAT? ” An excited Satan grabbed his notebook and a pen, checking items off as he read them.
Most people align themselves with what Satanists believe. Explain why our reader should stop his abs workout and focus on the Number of the Beast. Finally I understand who I am.”It’s a sane philosophy and way of living. Related: How One Curious Guy Beats Stress By Living As a Goat For 3 Days You’ve never ’d somebody? There are not any nefarious plans behind any of this. Related: 13 Insanely Simple Ways to Be More Likeable The Catholic Church has rituals.
But they’re not going to adopt the name, because they’re deathly afraid of it. As La Vey pointed out in , women use their beauty and their wiles because most men will bend to that. Here’s a question I’ve always wanted to ask a card-carrying Satanist. And it’s fun because it’s got the occult trappings and spookiness. The rituals involve a lot of naked women, and guys in goat masks. But we see a guy in a goat mask standing over a pentagram, our first thought is, “A student is about to wish she hadn’t been hitchhiking.”No, no, no. It’s all just window dressing to get you in the mood.
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On the 7th Day, God woke up to the afternoon sun on his face. It’s gonna take them thousands of years to work up to where they should be. Way to ruin six fucking fantastic days of work.” God walked up to the window and looked upon the trees, the ocean, the open farmland. Perhaps he should text the boys at the office with some excuse. I never said —“ "Yep, and a lot of it’s reeeaaaal yellow.” Okay okay okay.
In the 12 months ending 31 March 2010 the charity's income was £6,161,653, and its spending was £6,035,871.