Personally, I think there is so much more to be gained from talking with someone face to face – you are able to read their body language and listen to intonation in their voice, which are much better indicators than online messages or profiles. RD: If there are guys looking to actually get the attention of a girl on these dating sites, do you have any advice for them? AW: We lived across the hall from each other our first year of university.
We became good friends first and we only started dating 2 years later.
Obviously the honeymoon phase is over and we’re in the phase of hashing out our differences and working together, neither of us is perfect – but he has all the qualities I feel I could spend my life working with (the good and the bad). All I’ll point out is this – based on my entirely unscientific anecdotal assessment of the world – men propose to women 99% of the time.
Because if he wanted to marry you, he would have proposed to you. I mean, I have a defense – he doesn’t KNOW – and some people, if they’re not POSITIVE, don’t want to take action, or think it means that something is wrong. When I was 25, I was a big believer that chemistry was everything and that I would “just know”.
By 35, I didn’t “know” my wife was the one, but I had a pretty good hunch and made a smart, nuanced decision that has rewarded me many times over.
RD: Did you get ANY messages from guys that seemed nice at all? AW: No, but the creepy messages most likely ruined it for any decent guys that might be around.
Those messages made me run far, far away from online dating.
By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? I don’t know, maybe some girls might think of that as a compliment but personally, I would have preferred a simple message like, “Hey, would you like to talk?
Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… I saw that some of your interests were the same as mine,” or something along those lines.
Once you hear HIS thoughts on why he hasn’t proposed yet – and why he’s not planning to – you will have all the information you need to make your next big decision.
Okay, it’s time to have an open and frank discussion about the battle of the sexes and the dating game.
In hindsight, I suppose if I had stayed active with it for a little longer MAYBE I would have encountered a “nice” guy.
I have to mention that I did get maybe a message or two from guys that seemed okay, but once I checked out their profiles, it didn’t seem like we had anything in common so I didn’t bother.
It made me SO uncomfortable that guys so much older than me, older than most of my siblings (all of which are 8 years plus older than me), were sending me messages telling me that I was “hot”.