Dating a divorced parent singles dating new hampshire

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And when you tell your son that you are going out, emphasize what you're going to do instead of with whom.

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Q: I'm a divorced parent and I plan to begin dating again.

How can I help my 9-year-old son feel comfortable with this decision?

"Organizing a few brief, casual meetings is the best way to help your son with the transition in the beginning," Goldstein comments.

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"You assume your kids understand that mom needs a life outside of them. "He asked about him almost daily, for months," she says. The problem is not that they get attached to a new person, but that exposure to a parade of new people creates the potential for more loss."At its heart, this is about trust," says psychologist Leah Klungness of Long Island, who specializes in single-parent issues.

They don't."Mistakes 2, 3, and 4:* Introducing her children to the first man she liked.* Allowing him to spend time at the house, especially playing ball with her son, then 8.* Giving him a peck on the cheek one day as they parted. Children are likely to wonder, "Who can I count on to stay around? " Some blame themselves: "I'm not lovable." The more loss there is, the more distrustful they can become, including in their own future relationships.

"If you start to talk to your son about bringing a stranger home, it could trigger all sorts of anxious thoughts and negative feelings on his part."Rather than create a situation like that, try to keep your dating life separate from your life with your son," Goldstein advises.

For example, plan to meet your date at the movie theater or restaurant instead of at your house.

Try saying something like "I'm going to go see a movie with a friend on Friday night.

I've asked your favorite babysitter to come to stay with you, and I'm going to order a pizza and rent a video for the two of you to watch." When you return home from your night out, resist the urge to tell your son all about the date you just had. If dating someone eventually leads to a deeper relationship, you can always talk to your new friend about how you would like him to behave when he finally meets your son.

"It's better to be open [to that degree] than for them to feel there are secrets." He advises telling your ex-spouse that you're taking this step and, when one parent starts to date before the other, to say, "I know your dad is dating.