Rarely have they been depicted with traditionally masculine traits.With a few exceptions, Asian men on screen have been small, sneaky and threatening — or spineless, emasculated wimps, or incompetents who may well be technically proficient in martial arts, but impotent when faced with white man’s superior strength or firepower. Even today, Asian American men complain that action heroes such as Chow Yun Fat and Jackie Chan rarely get the girl.
A common misconception from women about what men really want is looks.As I said before, guys reserve their deepest level of respect and attraction for those women who are independent and confident in their own life, with or without a man.Playing hard to get is only an illusion of independence, which will quickly vanish after the ‘chase’ is over.Hard-to-get only teaches you to pretend to be an independent, interesting and confident woman, instead of truly being one.When I’m in China, I tend to turn a lot of heads, especially in the countryside — and that’s not just because I’m a foreigner.
It’s because I’m often seen holding hands with my Chinese husband.And when women make guys obsessed with the chase, the guy loses interest in the woman he’s chasing soon after he’s “caught” her Alternatively, being a challenging woman implies a sense of continuity, rather than becoming a single challenge which once completed becomes boring. Answer: What men really want is a woman with her own life.What a man wants is to know that he is being fitted into your weekly planner, rather than you giving up everything and going to set up camp in his!Fortunately, their ideas changed when they met me in person!On the other hand, there are Chinese men — and their families — who would be happy to have a foreign woman in the family. For example, my good friend in Hangzhou, Xiao Yu, once told me that some Chinese men cannot overcome their feeling of inferiority — that being an American girl, a citizen of one of the most powerful countries in the world, made my presence somewhat intimidating.There are hardly enough books depicting foreign women with Chinese boyfriends or husbands. When you have a Chinese husband or boyfriend, sometimes you feel as if you belong to a lonely club. One of my dearest e-mail friends, a woman from Germany, once found me on the net because she had a — then — Chinese boyfriend and yearned to find someone to share her experience with.