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This is not a list where it’s all or nothing—that is, in order to be a disciple, all of these ideas need to be in place.It’s important to remember that discipleship is a process and a journey.

Those who have taken to heart even one or two of these principles have told me that it has had a dramatically positive effect on their life, and has helped immensely in the process of controlling their negative sexual habits and impulses.

It’s easy to give Jesus priority status when there’s no competition.

All of us go through a stage where we assume we’re a boyfriend or girlfriend away from having it all.

We believe that if we could find our “true love,” all the issues that bring us down will fade into the background.

We’ll be placing unrealistic expectations on our relationship that can only be fulfilled by God.

It’s a wonderful thing to fall in love and find someone with whom we can share our lives.The statement is clearly well-intended, but like many things within the church the attempt to simplify in order to communicate things clearly has created new problems.For example, the overly simplistic categories of Christian and non-Christian can be an enormous stumbling block. non-Christians, we can quickly (and mistakenly) substitute “people who go to church” with “Christian” and unintentionally lower our standards to anyone who shows up to church on Sunday.But should a Christian relationship be validated by something as trivial as church attendance?I think it’s much better to frame the discussion within the larger context of discipleship.We believe that love, peace, and joy will flood into our lives and give us our “happily ever after.” Falling in love and being in love is awesome, but if we think a relationship is what will save us from loneliness, low self-esteem, and purposelessness, we’re just wrong.