Although demanding a look at the checkbook is a bit aggressive, you can and should closely analyze how your date spends money. Is giving both time and money to God’s kingdom a priority in his life? The use or misuse of money can often reveal a person’s true heart. Do Mike’s boys get jealous over the girls trip to Disney with their dad? …“Missionary Date” There is a strong tendency to assume, It rarely happens. If you think this statement is prudish, read up on the traumatic and escalating effects of pornography under the resource section on my web site.
SEE ALSO: Step-Money: Getting to the Heart of the Matter …before the date, seek out people who can answer a few probing questions about this person’s values, character, honesty, family history, etc. You’ll want to know these things before you are emotionally attached.
…before the date, pray and commit to God your sexual purity. SEE ALSO: Best Practices for Dating Single Parents (and the Singles Who Date Them) …observe how this person treats others such as a waitress or sales clerk. If so, this can be an indicator of how they will eventually treat you. …if he or she is divorced, ask a few questions about the divorce. Your children shouldn’t meet that person until engagement is on the horizon.
It’s the person who doesn’t prepare for temptation beforehand, which often weeps afterwards. This gives you the security and peace of mind of knowing you can escape if you’re uncomfortable. …listen for the ways he or she talks about family …on the first date, ask significant spiritual questions such as: “What church do you attend? ” “When did you come to know Christ as your Savior? On the initial date this might seem awkward and inappropriate, but guarding your heart is worth it. If the relationship dies, they will suffer another loss.
Determining if he or she hasn’t effectively grieved the death of their marriage is crucial. The words “that might apply to others, but not to me” are the flashing hazard signs of a rapidly approaching locomotive headed straight for your heart. As the parent it’s your responsibility to shield their heart whenever possible.
…look for someone who is satisfied in their singleness.
If you observe a panic or necessity to get married they aren’t ready. Look for God’s warning signs and evidence of the person’s spiritual health.There is nothing more dangerous than a wounded animal.…acknowledge your discernment about the opposite sex may be damaged due to the divorce.Phrases such as, “If you loved me you would”, “I act crazy because I love you so much,” “I’ll die (or commit suicide) if you leave me,” are tactics of a manipulator.…misinterpret codependency and “rescuing someone” as mercy and kindness. Is this person looking for someone to relieve the pain of their situation? …minimize the vast complexities of second marriage.Laughing at the memory comes easily now (I wonder whatever happened to that poor guy? I detested the awkward adolescent feelings, and I resented having to return to the dating world. Dating slapped reality into my shattered heart and forced me to admit the painful truth of my deceased marriage. Adapting to the dating world again doesn’t have to be as excruciating as my experience.