I take him to a dinner party.just us and another couple. Whether or not the relationship works out, participating in recovery work will teach you more about how to maintain your own boundaries and how to avoid being pulled into someone’s addictive behaviors.
Your boyfriend needs to decide once and for all that he is more invested in his relationship with you than his relationship with alcohol. If he isn’t getting enough support through AA, he should consider getting himself into therapy with an addictions counselor or a psychologist. AA is a wonderful organization but it isn’t for everyone.I feel kind of heartless writing that, but I’m thinking in terms of what I would tell my closest female friends or my sister if they asked me what you asked me.There’s nothing wrong with being a supportive friend to him while he figures out his alcohol addiction.But after a few months, you end up seeing other sides of each other. That’s a good sign at least, but there’s still plenty you don’t know about him.
You don’t know what triggers his drinking or what his follow-through is like in general.You said you’ve met recently, so I would imagine there’s plenty that you don’t know about each other.I am all for seeing the best in people and believing that people can improve, but you said it yourself: You’re not sure if you would want to stick around if he relapses.It just seems that he would be better off figuring out his own issues first before he starts a new relationship.All-to-often a new relationship can be used to delay or cover-up dealing with our problems.If you had been dating him for a while or were in a long, loving relationship, my answer would have been to help him see it through, learn about what it’s like for an alcoholic to recover from alcohol addiction and be as supportive as possible.