Urgency: Urgency limits the target person's options of getting more information, consulting others, investigating facts, or checking gut instinct, which takes a little longer to settle.
Urgency also activates the 'fight or flight' system which 1) itself increases a subjective sense of hurry, and 2) limits creative options that might otherwise come to mind.
That is, the perpetrator has done ' to avoid getting in trouble.
In order to eliminate the insecurity and low self esteem we don’t have to change, we just have to change our belief in the false self image.
While some people assume this may be hard, it is only challenging because most people have not learned the skills necessary to change a belief.
Once you practice the skills you find that changing a belief takes very little effort. It takes more effort to believe something than it does to not believe it.
It is not enough to “know” intellectually that we are creating the emotion.
This is a special case of projective identification as described above.
The bully gets someone to feel and act out his or her fear so the bully doesn't have to.
1) Recovering personal power so that you can get control of your emotions and refrain from the reactive behavior.
2) Shift your point of view so that you can step back from the story in your mind.
4) Become aware that the beliefs in your mind are not true.
This is different than “knowing” intellectually that the stories are not true.
That is because the fighting response, although fear may be present, is not a living out of fear.