Many find it draining to be forced to choose who to spend time with.
Some have parents or friends, who complicate this process with guilt-inducing maneuvers and statements such as: "How can you let yourself be open to another man? As soon as a new man comes around, you're going to dump me?
What ends up happening is that sometimes your friends (consciously or unconsciously) may attempt to sabotage your relationship.Demeaning comments can be made about your partner's physical appearance, style of dress, profession, manners, or hygiene.Every time Jerry started dating someone new, Mike would make some disparaging comment about her.She was either too fat, plain, boring, mousy, unfriendly, or dumb.Sometimes friends will tell you that your new partner doesn't look like your type.
Those who receive these messages can become confused, and people who are indecisive may be more disturbed and unsettled by them.
Some of your friends and relatives may be quite perceptive and intuitive.
You may even use them as sounding boards because you realize they are better at reading warning signs they see than you are.
Have you ever felt like you had to choose between your friends or your partner? Marrieds often practice isolationism, from friends, family and acquaintances. It is sad sometimes, but I'm usually busy enough to not dwell on it. There is pressure to act happy for people when they meet people. Unless your friend is in a detrimental relationship...happy for them..support them, and always be willing to be in the background, how ever long that takes...you cant, then you need to look at it as your own issue. I think it is quite a little controlling to expect a romantic interest to dump all their friends because they are in a relationship.
I wish more people would make an effort or apologize if they dissappear into a relationship happy coccoon for a few months. Studies have shown with married people, that marriage is isolating and that the married spend less time with friends, volunteering and taking care of family members.
Eventually, Jerry faced with his inability to become intimate with a woman he really adored; he realized how he had been influenced by Mike.