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Unfortunately, it also describes millions of other people in the world. She thought she’d earned the respect of an independent soul like himself. I recounted a typical story from the book: a guy with a reputation for being a maverick who doesn’t follow the rules and doesn’t kowtow to authority is promoted to management in a large company. With his independent spirit, he’s going to be an awesome boss! Her father didn’t follow the path his parents planned for him because control freaks don’t let other people tell them what to do, and that’s fine. When you defy the control freak (which you will eventually do, unless you have no spine), there will be hell to pay.

You can’t go through life without bumping into your share of control freaks. But if you learn to spot the control-freak personality, at least you’ll understand what happened when someone who seemed to like and respect you (or perhaps even love you) suddenly decides you’re a Very Bad Person the first time you disagree or don’t go along with his plan. “Your father’s not an independent soul,” I replied. But then they absolutely, positively expect everyone else to follow their plans and give in to their demands. The behavior seems illogical and inconsistent, but it isn’t. Enraged that he can’t control you, the control freak will become obsessed with controlling how others see you.

You’ll also understand behavior that appears to be inconsistent and illogical. She assumed her father was secretly proud of her – after all, she’d asserted her independence and gone her own way, followed her own dreams, just like him. The control freak has a very consistent need for control … Turning others against you is, after all, the punishment you deserve for refusing to bend to his will.

For example, many control freaks consider themselves freedom-loving libertarians. You can expect the control freak to put a lot of effort into trashing you.

I thought I’d hit the girlfriend jackpot when we started dating. (She was fond of using the word “hateful.”) And it wasn’t just about actual behavior.

But time after time, the awesome friend became an enemy practically overnight. It was, of course, always the former friend’s fault.If one of her former friends ever ran into a burning building to save a baby, I’m pretty sure Clarisse would have explained it was just a P. In fact, she was such a good person, she was always trying to help her friends and co-workers by offering advice on what they ought to do, how they ought to live, etc. At that point, the same long-time friend (who’d wisely kept his mouth shut before the breakup, but admitted he was glad to see it happen) suggested I read a book titled to arm myself against ever choosing the same kind of partner again. Control freaks believe they know what is best for everyone and try to convince other people to do things differently.If they ignored the advice, she became ever more insistent on offering it. – when their non-stop efforts to improve someone else’s life ends with that someone telling them to off. Seeing what happened with her friends, I used to wonder when Clarisse would finally turn on me. She became increasingly persistent in telling me how to live, how to dress, how to eat, etc. I was also reasonably sure she was in need of therapy. Whether they lecture, become aggressive, or manipulate things behind the scenes, they want to make other people act a certain way.His mom was a teacher of special education whereas his father was an electrical engineer. All of his wives accepted that they always missed spending time with Tom Cruise.These divorces hurt him that’s why he wait before revealing the name that who is his new girlfriend dating now in 2018.And then, wouldn’t you know it, these people she was merely trying to help became mean and nasty. But just in case I was the crazy one and unaware of it, I called a long-time friend I could trust to be honest. When you do not submit to what they are “encouraging” you to do, there is often a display of emotional behavior. Control freaks hold opinions on everything from how other people should hold their forks to how they should live their entire lives.