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Two dates where I was probably settling, compromising and giving in, just to go on dates. Not at all, they were perfectly normal, fine people, just not the match for me. It’s literally a 40 minute survey asking you the same question 37 different ways.

First thing you have to do is fill out the SATs of online dating.

You can’t proceed to the next awkward stage of eharmony until the other person responds back.

Because I know about cumulative binomial probability. I actually posted this question to eharmony on their facebook wall. I have no idea why my matches don’t just close out the match if they’re not interested.

In any case, I’m baffled as to why girls just don’t close out the match if they’re not interested. What’s more likely is eharmony never deletes accounts, so I’m matched with girls that joined for the free weekend 6 months ago, and don’t even know they have a message from me in their queue.

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But the new matches keep coming in, 7 a day, and you keep sending over your stage one questions, and you keep waiting for them to respond.

I figured out that if I log in at am and do a new “Find New Matches” search I will get 7 new hand computer picked matches.

You still hold on to it, and check to see if you won, you know, just in case.

Or maybe that’s why girls don’t respond back to me?

That’s always kind of awkward when you’re supposed to be “working”. You’re going to continue reading without telling any of your hot female co-workers? I had some other titles in work for this blog, but they just didn’t capture the essence of what I was trying to say. A “computer” matches you up based on “29 levels of compatibility”, which I’m fine with. Because you’re thinking, wow some super computer down at Eharmony headquarters is crunching vectors and differential equations just to find my perfect mate, and everyday you log in and see new matches, that you think are hand picked from the computer gods above.

I mean, I feel bad if you’re at work right now reading this, and the biggest letters on your screen involve the words FUCK YOU. So after you completed their riddles and questions, you then can start receiving “matches”, hurray!

You don’t even notice that she hasn’t responded because your distracted by the new excitement of these new matches.